My Needs

[Deskath]

this one's for blood

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head
and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, we were all over each other
and just when I was ready to pound nails through two inch plywood
she looks up at me and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by
saying, "Can't you just love me for who I
am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She
wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get
a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she
was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction
from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she
finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled WHAT?"

I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having
sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter
than her!
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[Bloodofgods]

LMFAO!!!

So so so good lol

Nice work there Deskath
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[Deskath]

thought you'd like it
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[wombles]

LMAO! Another nice one mate
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[Morna]

Even as a woman i have to admit that is very very good!! LMAO.... Uh huh mighty fine one Des
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